Why does this happen?


I am a girl, a daughter, a friend, a wife, a sister and most importantly a human being. I have a life, a life of my own. I have feelings, emotions, grudges, fears just like every other human. So why I have to be scared to be me, to be a girl. Every time I come across a news article related to gang rape, acid attack, emotional blackmailing, dowry death, sexual harassment, honor killing and the list that never ends, I am shaken up all till my last cell. Why does this happen to us? Just because of our biological orientation or something larger.

Reasons cited by our so called representatives are horrendous. How can someone justify the heinous incidents by saying ” These kinds of thing happen” or “The women put makeup and wear short clothes so it is bound to happen”. It’s high time that we stop the game of victim blaming. We girls know that whether we wear a salwar kameez or a short skirt we can be attacked in both the cases. Every time this kind of shameful incident takes place all the responsible citizens of the country start blaming the victim. There are endless conversations of how we women invite these disgusting situations in our life. What surprises is when I hear these words coming from a woman. We generally blame are counter men of not understanding our point on these matters but listening to these things from someone who belongs to the same race is not at all acceptable.

I come from a really small town. I was fortunate to be born to parents who were extra protective about me. I have observed that being parents they were always equal to me and my brother. Why I am mentioning this is because it has to do a lot with the current situation. Our society has always put forward structural inequality in our families. The patriarchy runs throughout the societal system. If a son notices his father disrespecting his wife, ruling her life, its but obvious that the son would follow the same with his partner or maybe even with her sister. We all have to work on the kind of upbringing a boy is receiving. That would be directly proportional to their growing mentality towards women. They need to learn how to respect a woman and her choices. This can be only possible if the ground roots that are the parents are clear with it. This is the need of the hour. As friends, we need to make boys understand what a girl goes through when such kind of thing happens to us. All men are not same and nor all boys, so we can only work on this and expect that a convincing future lies ahead.

One more reason of these rising cases is the confidence a man gains realizing that the girl would never mention this in front of anyone. In our hypocrite society, a girl’s modesty is clearly labeled to be the pride of the family. If unfortunately the modesty of girl is ruined the pride of the family automatically demolishes. This is the reason why most of the harassment cases get unnoticed. A lot of episode of harassment, blackmailing, assault happens to girls on a daily basis but we shut our mouths thinking to report it or even mentioning this would bring disgrace to our families. This disturbing trend needs to be questioned. We need to build an environment where a girl feels comfortable enough to share the mishappenings occurring with her.



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